Ever Onward

On the Road - Quote

The last time I found myself homeless, it was the result of an abusive spouse and her overwhelming desire to see me suffer. This time, my homelessness was somewhat planned – well, as much as one can really plan for this sort of thing. I finally got my parents away from the hellhole known as Utah. Having gone through my old belongings stored in their basement and assisting with the packing/storing of their worldly goods, I found myself ready for a new adventure. I’d put a little work into my 13-year-old Toyota Corolla (Bling – newly renamed “Bling the Undying” as a testament to his strength) and felt reasonably sure that he could survive another long adventure on the road. I felt the interstates and highways calling to me, their cries reverberating through my veins and echoing in the darkest corners of my weary soul.

Now I found myself holed up in another hotel, poring eagerly over my trusted map as I charted my course. The first stop would be Colorado – Loveland, to be more precise. If I had the time, maybe I’d drive down to Denver the next day and spend the night there. I had always wanted to roam the streets of Denver. Regardless, I hoped to set foot in a dispensary somewhere along the way. The concept of weed being legal, of it being sold in a retail environment, was so utterly foreign to me; I wanted to experience it for myself and – if I was lucky – maybe even make a purchase. Being physically disabled and in pain 24/7 made me curious as to its medicinal properties – specifically, its ability to provide relief from pain. From Denver, I would head through Kansas. I figured I could make it as far as Hays, or maybe Wichita, depending on whether or not I spent a night in Denver. After that, I’d make my way through Missouri and Tennessee before ending up in North Carolina, where I hoped to spend a night or two in Asheville before heading closer to the Charlotte area.

Beyond that … ? I wasn’t sure. I’m still not. One thing seems certain: the world is more open and full of possibilities now than it’s been in a long time. The feeling is both exhilarating and terrifying.

What a Waster

What a waster: he’s in shambles but the smile is a convincing lie to passersby, the depths of it all hidden behind jaded eyes. Feet hitting the pavement, broken shoes, ears tuned to the city, to centuries of joy mixed with grief inherent in every ancient surface. Mourning the lost connections, pondering the misdirections, daydreaming of a time when it was all so much simpler – just two voices mingling in the darkness, falling in and out of bed, laughing because what else can you do when it’s all gone to shit?

Cars drive by, a siren wails in the distance, and tired, red-rimmed eyes trace the cracks in ancient bricks. Boy, you wreck everything you touch. Why not try building something for a change?